I remember elementary school. We had a see-saw. It was usually fun.

I was an average sized kid. There were always kids who were much bigger than me, and there were always kids smaller than me.

The most fun to a see-saw was finding someone who was about the same size as yourself. Recess was only so long, and going out there to break a sweat working my second-grade calves was not the way I wanted to spend my fifteen minutes of freedom.

Nor did I want to spend my fifteen minutes sitting on the elevated half of the see-saw being held hostage by the big bully twice my size who wanted to spend his fifteen minutes sitting on the see-saw, laughing at the little guy stuck and crying four feet off the ground.

The best see-saw experiences were those where the two sides found balance.

Balance is tough to find, especially when you have two people who want different things. Yet, even with different motivation, there is a commonality to most things. Even with the see-saw, the commonality is the mutual desire to not only see, but to also saw.

In our current real estate market, we find ourselves playing see-saw with a buyer and a seller. And, like so many other areas of life, we often find ourselves needing to find the oh-so-often-elusive balance.

Most sellers have had their homes since 2006 or before, or purchased them in 2007 and 2008 at the beginning of the down slope. Some bought at the high pointof the bubble, and some bought before, but went to Zillow and saw how much their investment had appreciated. The goal of many sellers in selling their home is to get as close as possible to the high point of the bubble.

Buyers have been watching a lot of television and have heard about the property values in Detroit, and feel that they should be able to find a 3 bed, 2 bath property in the best neighborhood that is move-in-ready with no issues on inspection for $29,900 just like their parents did in the 1970s.

Both want bragging rights. The seller knows her friends will ask about the sale, and she’ll want to let them know how well she did. The buyer will want to post on Facebook about his victory, much like a jubilant tourist who negotiated his way to the purchase of very special item from a Mercado in Rosarito for $5, like a procrastinating fan who found Cardinals tickets available just outside the stadium after the game started for 20% less than list price for the seat, or like a triumphant Craigslist shopper who found the deal of deals.

Both sides want to feel like they came out on top, and yet, so often, great deals fall through because of an inability to find balance.

Sometimes, just an understanding of reality can bring balance to the see-saw of negotiation. Sellers have to understand that prices today are nowhere near the height of the bubble. Buyers have to understand that, with inventory down, it is not uncommon today for accepted offers to be at or above listing price, since many properties are entertaining multiple offers.

For a great real estate experience, when both parties on the see-saw find their balance, selling and buying can be enjoyable and mutually profitable. After all, there is a mutual commonality – both sides want to see that property transacted.

Now… after all that nostalgia, I’m Jonesing for a good see-sawing. Any takers?